#girl’s heart — arc

[fangirlforeversthings]

Girlies will look at the most powerful, most feared by their enemys, most talented, strongest, bravest and basically unbeatable warriors known to mankind in full armor and will go like:

My 🎀babygirl🎀 my cute little pooksie wooksie baby bear🎀💞🌸🎀

[suikatto]

Finally, my finished Kieran design is here!! There's gonna be more of his and Cupid's shenanigans dont worry

[marcirose]

Nobody understands Kingdom Hearts that well cause everybody compares it to shonen anime when it's actually a magical girl anime because it has:

-A protagonist who is an ordinary lad who got given a special power that could save the universe

Teammates that the protagonist can lean on and who help the protagonist with said special power

A love interest heavily involved in the plot that both motivates the protagonist and is motivated by the protagonist

A monster of the week format that has its own standalone conflict that eventually leads to the next major plot point in the story

Overarching themes about love and friendships and connections and identity

[genericpuff]

I FUCKING LOVE MISERABLE JERKASS MALE CHARACTERS WHO TURN THEIR LIVES AND SITUATIONS AROUND AND BECOME MORE THAN WHAT THEY EVER THOUGHT THEY COULD BE AND WHAT SOCIETY MADE THEM INTO THROUGH THE SOFTENING OF THEIR TOXIC MASCULINITY AND EMBRACING THE SUPPORT OF THEIR FRIENDS AND FAMILY AS A STRENGTH RATHER THAN A WEAKNESS

GOTTA BE ONE OF MY FAVORITE GENDERS FR FR

[bhaalsdeepbat]

Lae'zel is like a play on the "I'm not other girls" thing, except she's trying SO hard to be like other Gith girls. She's trying to steel her heart and be a perfect soldier in the collective army serving beneath Vlaakith. No will of her own. Just blind servitude alongside the other Gith who are also denying their own individualism.

Rather than gutting the companions right then and there - as any other Githyanki would do - she joins them AND promises them a cure. A cure that was meant to be ONLY for Githyanki warriors. And she doesn't know about the lies or the fact that he cure is a death sentence, but she still extends that olive branch to the group. She'll speak up when she's grouchy and try to project a hard exterior, but she's SO secretly soft.

When you approach Rosymorn, she'll stay on that part of the map if you try to leave. Upon returning, you can make her admit she missed you.

You can make the strong Gith who was raised to pillage, kill, and conquer admit that she missed the player character.

Lae'zel isn't like other Gith Girls.

Her act two scene is trying to progress the romance as though it were between two Gith raised within that culture. It's a fight to prove your worth through your battle prowess, which makes only the best *warriors* worthy of companionship. However, it becomes clear that isn't want Lae'zel wants. If the player loses, and Bae'zel beats the fuck out of them, she becomes distraught because she doesn't WANT to fight her romantic partner.

She wants to mutually protect one another. She wants companionship with her partner. She wants to enjoy the sunrise with them, feel the tickle of the night breeze, see the Tears of Selune chase after the moon across the night sky, she wants to live and she wants to share those experiences with her love. She doesn't WANT to be the stone cold Gith that she was raised to be.

Lae'zel wasn't given any role to do with the eggs, but once the egg is in the party's possession, she's instantly drawn to it. When Xan hatches, she gives him a name to represent that he'll be raised to be free to be himself. He'll have the freedom to choose his own path, whatever that maybe. Xan DOESN'T have to be like the other Gith. He could be a scholar, an artist, a warrior, anything he wishes to be. It's his life and Lae'zel is just happy to see her little Xan be raised with the freedom she didn't realize she craved until she arrived on that silly little planet.

Lae'zel isn't like other Gith girls because no two people are the same, even if raised in the same circumstances and culture. Everyone is an individual, even when they serve a collective or are fighting alongside Allies with the same main goal.

Lae'zel isn't just a nameless, faceless soldier. She isn't interchangeable with other Gith. She isn't like the other Gith girlies.

[laureblogging]

[isabeauwolf]

My heart does a little "!!!!” when I see you ❤️

Trafalgar Law 😏❤️ My snow leopard 🐆

[fumifooms]

Namalin

Namari x Falin

Easy short rarepair spotlight post for prosperity~ This one I didn’t think of on my own for once, I don’t know if it’s just I forgot the decided-on ship name or what but I remember seeing really nice art and a couple posts about it that I can’t find again 💔 Namalin warrior you are out there and not forgotten ty for making me see the light

I like that Namari’s critical of Falin! I have a whole character analysis on Falin if you’re interested, but it’s generally well noticed that people around Falin idealize her a lot. Laios, Marcille and Toshiro all put her on a pedestral of ultimate goodness in the world, a saintess if nothing short of perfection. Sounds like Chilchuck felt sort of creeped out by her vibes, uncomfortable because he couldn’t read her, so unlike Namari it seems he preferred steering clear of her rather than debate opposed ideologies like he usually does. Makes sense if unlike Namari his issue is with her cryptic aura rather than the stances she does show. "… The dungeon is no place for soft hearts" my ultimate namalin scene <333 It’s fun because while this scene is there to show us a lot of things, mostly to establish Falin’s characters better as it’s the first flashback of her we get, the conflict in it is more than anything else Falin vs Namari in how they contrast and clash and approach situations differently. Namari wants security in swift effective violence and thinks Falin too soft for her own good when she prefers a pacifist approach and promotes compassion even for the "undeserving" in Namari’s eyes. Falin steps between the battle ready Namari and the ghost, fearless. Falin effortlessly gently exorcises the ghost without one step back, quickly. Falin proves someone wrong. Falin proves someone wrong.

I love thinking of Namari being surprised when she learns new aspects of Falin. I like Falin having the power to shape people’s views on her. With Falin ships the most fun part for me is usually that point where Falin/the relationship becomes a clean slate: the person realizes they haven’t been seeing all of her, realizes there’s more of her they hadn’t noticed or that she hadn’t shown, that there’s change, a shift in the views on each other and the dynamic a bit.

Namari often feels like an external view looking in to me… I need to make a proper analysis on her but like. I made a lamari post once (analytic more than personally invested rip sorry) and I go with the same Namari take here, I think she’s someone who tends to have an outsider view on people and relationships if that makes sense, she’s a coworker before anything else and she’s content staying at a distance, she’s not objective per se but she tries to keep feelings out of her choices and how she sees people (her lil arc on not staying to save Falin despite the existing camaderie but in the end asking to work for the Flokes more because she wants to stay with them). She’s serious no nonsense on the job but friendly off the job and likes having casual friends, but she’s not… She doesn’t really feel connected to the group. She’s so focused on doing her job, even if she does get impulsive and passionate and too assertive for her bosses’ tastes, so focused on working her reputation and life from the ground up that that professionalism and attitude limits her social life. It doesn’t help that her reputation makes her widely judged, so she probably enters social spaces on the derensive. The closest person she was to pre-canon as far as we knew was Chilchuck and even they have a very "coworker I get along with" dynamic more than friends, with a similar sense of boundaries, humor and world view. Also like canon says a few time, the party didn’t really try to get to know each other well pre-canon, didn’t hang out after work often no one knew where Marcille was from and no one thought that was weird (also how no one had the instinct to ask about Senshi’s past) etc, the notable exception is we’re shown Namari and Chilchuck hitting taverns together and having a grand time. Everyone’s fine with things as they are, they get along decent even if not everyone considers each other friends exactly. Where I’m getting at is that to me, it feels like she tries keeping emotional distance. Emotional distance from people in general being something which in my interpretation of Falin is also present, which would make it a theme and common thread interesting to explore imo. But yes like, Namari looking at Falin, and how everyone treats her, and being more skeptical, seeing her for what she is a little more, maybe even uncharitable. "Why is everyone treating her like she’s all that? She’s gentle sure but seems like a doormat to me" and then one day she comes running up with her mace ready to cave in someone’s face to protect Laios. So yeah… Keeping her distance but one day Falin offering her some gentleness that feels very too personal for someone who’s not used to being genuine and simply showing that they care… Them talking a bit which leaves her stumped and mindblown in a quiet way when Falin defies her expectations. Namari growing on Falin when she stays and decides to open herself up more, or when Falin ends up reading her really well like she’s shown to do with her parents and Marcille’s worries. She’s very attuned to worrying and why and when different people do it especially when it comes to when they worry for others, perhaps because she does a lot of that too, so I think she’d nail down how Namari does care for the rest of the party and it’d make Namari feel seen both in a warm validating way and in a scared naked way.

We see in the tentacles chapter that she’s someone’s who’s very protective and looks out for her peers in a tough love way. She’s overbearing but it’s because she wants everyone to have the best chances. I like that she’s very confrontational and somewhat pushy and rude, but it’s tough love, it’s protective care: asserting herself to better protect and defend. The opposite of Falin’s type of care, quiet and self-sacrificial devotion. They’re barbarian x healer but they’re also bodyguard x bodyguard in their attitude and role. … What I want for them is slow burn slice of life of being coworkers and slowly getting to know each other better, pretty fluffy, but god, put this way they’d have the potential to be such a hot layered mess of insanely mutually devoted codependence… Falin taking a hit for Namari and Namari being scarred by it forever, lots of arguments about it, my god.

I like that she’s the fighter to Falin’s healer. I looove thinking of scenes of Falin healing Namari, necessitating touch and like, a moment of slowing down and sitting together in silence, too intimate, the perfect opportunity to connect that neither truly want to take until one day they do. I love how onesided I imagine the relationship would be at first. Again, as per my interpretation of Falin, I think Namari would have all these little observations and opinions on Falin meanwhile Falin really doesn’t think of Namari much at first. So Namari thinks a lot about Falin and thinks she’s got her pinned down but hasn’t (not that she’s fully wrong, she’d have credit and confront Falin on some of her flaws like the doormat thing), while Falin is very passive about Namari and doesn’t think deeply about her or anything but she read Namari’s insecurities and logic well. Not unlike how Laios was the one who seemed to understand Namari’s way of care the best in the party in the tentacles episode, and how he was very understanding of her choice and reasons. In Falin’s case it’s more like, the objectivity of passivity… She cares about Namari less than Laios who generally seeks to form bonds, so her lack of investment allows her a neutral perspective. In that way another parallel with Namari that I’m drawing, except Namari lets feelings from her opinions seeps in more… Onesided beef my beloved. I’m going insane save me this post was a mistake. I think Falin takes the crumbs of friendship and love where she can without expecting or asking for anything more than what’s offered, and I think her relationship with Namari (or anyone really) would start out the way it did with Marcille: the other takes the initiative and they end up spending time together, Falin is friendly but unattached until the bond gets gradually and wordlessly strenghtened through regularly spending moments together. So! I think Namari would need to take a lot of the first steps, which since again she’s confrontational & argumentative and doesn’t hold herself back on that front that could spark a lot of conversations I think. Ooor since Falin cares about Namari less than Laios and Marcille she allows herself to be bolder herself lol. Or also circumstances force them to spend time together like dungeon party getting separated shenanigans.

I think their personalities match cutely, I think falin would try to protect namari like she does others but also Namari simply doesn’t need protection, just support. And I think they’re complementary in that way that Namari’s friendly but also won’t sugarcoat things, and I think if she takes an interest in Falin it could go from there and she could develop some understanding of her and idk like an intrigued crush….

Namari wants stability & security & to, like, not be judged and rejected and exiled lol, to find her nest her pack the place where she feels good and wanted in. I think having a fitting partner would help in that (similarly to how the found family with the Flokes seemed to. Oh another parallel, Falin’s top priority is protecting Laios her brother and what Namari are a family figure) and I think Falin would fulfill that cozy protection and that warm ‘being seen and not judged’ feeling. But also Namari would run up to her and yell about her trying to sacrifice herself ever.

Another fun thread to explore: post-canon guilt for not having gone to save her. Sure, they weren’t close, but they had some nice memories, didn’t they? Namari cares, and it stings despite herself when it feels like people think she doesn’t. Oh it wasn’t a lost cause after all, oh it’d have worked out, oh I could have stayed loyal and it wouldn’t have compromised myself in the end. Wanting to apologize to Falin, or just ahnging out with her and sharing a moment after she wakes up. And tangent but that’s interesting to think about… Narratively, I think the purpose of Namari and Toshiro in the story, beyond strenghtening the theme of "seek to understand what is different from you and promote unity despite them" and fleshing the cast and worldbuilding, is Toshiro’s purpose was being a foil & tool in Laios’ arc (trouble connecting with people) while Namari’s was being and a foil & tool in Marcille’s arc (standing up for ideals without being out of touch with harsh realities and needs). They are the conflict that push our protagonists to grow— and they explore different ways of dealing with a situation or topic, different ways of growing into themselves on that end: Laios needing to listen to others more and Toshiro needing to focus on voicing himself more to be able to connect, Marcille needing to learn ideals sometimes cost too much and Namari needing to internalize that ideals are sometimes worth risks (not only to be able to find a reasonable but fulfilling life balance, but also to get in touch with their compassion: Namari restricts her own too much and Marcille is too harsh on people she deems to be breaking values, like Namari not risking her life and career for a friend with no promise of success, or even like how Namari is harsh on Falin’s way of doing things : too gentle, too soft, too idealistic) (similarly to Chilchuck’s arc with Marcille too, and he also plays a hand in advancing that arc in the Namari chapters). We are getting far from namalin sorry ummm preview for future analyses like Toshiro’s contrasting approach to grief and accepting loss.

More post-canon namalin! Thinking about a timeline where… Namari is fond of Falin finding herself and going off to do her thing. "Finally!" she thinks. If she’s still for hire, maybe Falin would want her to come along, either as guide or bodyguard <3, she knows Namari has a lot of good avice on a lot of things to give, plus they’ve worked together before. She hires Namari and they travel for a bit. Travel would do Namari good too I think, even if her end goal is to settle and I think Falin’s would be too eventually. Seeing sights that light her wonder for the world and going places where people don’t know her story, don’t recognize her face or her name. Them, feeling free. Finding a companionship that feels uplifting instead of stifling or charged. Namari having been too in her head about reputation and social games and money that they hit the roads and spend time in nature and it’s like, woah. I’ve been living in a small world with made up rules.

Ahh yes romance, Namari and Falin kissing after 3 years of not really knowing each other despite seeing each other every day then 2 months of wanting to spend more and more time together until they’re an inseparable duo! Workwives. I want them to stand next to each other during campire time and Namari cracks little jokes and Namari laughs. I want Namari to gift Falin a bug caught in amber and for it to be their wedding/promised to each other thing.

TLDR

Rowdy but levelheaded barbarian x gentle healer that will also cave your face in with a mace I like it…… They’re an interesting duo of mixed stuff. Protection being your purpose and what you’re worth for, literally being a meat shield (Laios, Tansu), finding your individuality recognized and validated through a growing bond with the other. Sticking around as a love language. Also bug immortalized in amber and it being beautiful.

Nevermind this wasn’t short. Um! Anyways.

[tequiilasunriise]

“In another life, I loved you right.”

“In another life, you loved me at all.”

Tag your ship(s).

[superstaridolstart]

I wasn't planning on doing this, but @lanceappreciationblog was waiting for me to make a full version, so here it is

Also, @mew-cake wanted to see this after I asked them if a clean version of the music existed. (It didn't)

[suffarustuffaru]

hi i made a tier list of how homophobic rezero characters are

hello in the spirit of valentine's day and the very welcoming community here on rezero tumblr i decided to make this with the help of my lovely mutuals.

[mamawasatesttube]

i do deeply believe, from the bottom of my heart, that in the leadup to new krypton arc, kara zor-el definitely at least once told reactron to kill himself. and i fully support her in that

[roboyomo]

hey. pspsps. for whenever u need it. hands u a Talk About Yuor Beasts ticket for azrael and kenix. disappears into my shrub again. woe

HELLOOOO HAI. I FINALLY WROTE THIS HOLY SHIT. just to prepare you people, this thing is going to get LONG. EXTRA LONG COMPARED TO MY USUAL OC RANTPOSTS. 57 paragraphs and about ~7000 words. Yeag ^_^ read at your own risk and if you have a Lot Of Free Time Alrightsies? And also if you want to hear about fucked up and doomed little queer guys! I had tried to cover everything about azranix in here so let's goooo !!!

okay so first of all i will Definitely be reusing some of the old info i have already said about them before because Yeag ^_^ it is definitely needed for context for all the other people that have been following my blog and never read my previous rant posts. And those who just Never Saw Said Oc Posts dhehdsh just so this all would make some sense

and God. i've had kenix and azrael for abouttttt 2+ years by now i think ? ? and their story have changed a lot but GOD they still have such a grip on my soul.,,, cannot think about them without being Plagued very intensely and extremely and severely. they were this one Thing but then their dynamic and relationship evolved and so did they as people and it makes me So Sick of them soemtimes i swearrrr.. . .

so to start off! yeah the already known thing is that they're part of the seven deadly sins order of characters but to make it easier i'll just call them either sins crew or seven sinners. For my own Convenience. The concept of the sins crew is that they are mirroring the main original timeline cast. While the main cast is blessed by the divine in the name of keeping peace of their perspective duties. the sins crew Unfortunately did not get such treatment. To be part of the sins crew is to be abandoned by the gods above Basically. which is exactly their fate! they have curses and not blessings and. to make it short that's just how they have been punished for even having desires! Quite Unfair,, , ,

each of them have their own perspective sins and here, azrael and kenix have envy and lust as their assigned sins respectively. each of their actions that lead to this point are represented by said sins ofcourse but in their own ways (so No not That kind of lust for kenix i know please do not) i think i have explained all the needed context before i get to both of them on their own and then together ^_^ firstly i'll explain azrael because Yeag.

azrael is kind of. Complicated to say the least. a living weapon of some sorts! grown up in a hostile environment where the sole goal was To Win. there was little importance in personal happiness because it was all either to kill or to be killed. and he just grew tired of it yk? his hands only knew the warmth of blood and not the warmth of an another person. A dull and terrified view on life. He could only yearn to know how it is like to live normally without having to worry about being someone's next target.

and then there was someome who knew such happiness. a nameless girl, so full of life. just like him, she had no name from birth. Only a serial number. But yet. She was someone that had no worries like he did. Someone who Had So Much. stood right next to azrael. It felt unreal. Like a dream! A false scenario because surely! Surely that kind of bliss wasn't possible in his world! and yet. Yet. someone knew that feeling that he wished to knew the warmth of himself. Was right in front of his eyes. But he also was envious of her to some degree deep down. envious that she had what he yearned for his entire life while working with these bunch of assassin-esque people. but also!

it is very very safe to say that she meant Everything to him. Like how could she not? her attitude changed his worldview on such a fundamental level that azrael was. Fully convinced that he wouldn't be able to exist without the bright colors she intergrated into his life. spending all of his time with her. her happiness and optimisim was everything he needed. It (the whole relationship) wasn't even exactly anything to Her. like both of them very much saw each other as friends! but azrael meant something different by friends Me Thinks,, , , more like a person that he committed himself to.

"oh you are my friend and i am yours? okay then you have my devotion now. We are Friends and More Than Friends at the same time now :)" like they had something Very Intense and at the same time so one-sided. which is Unfortunate for azrael because! Wow my dude you trusted someone So Much you have let your guard down! Bad Choice my guy! because now it wasn't azrael who was the target. It was her. the nameless has been seen with him so many times that she was in danger because of him. and since he has let his guard down it led to. You know. Her death eventually happening.

the loss of the nameless girl not only broke azrael but changed his worldview once again. Because now he wasn't just apathetic to the entire world around him like he used to be before she appeared in his life, but he despised everything about the world. he was so jealous because now seemingly everyone had everything he had ever wanted! that source of happiness! something he had just mere moments ago! the warmth of blood on his hands coming back to haunt him!

It felt nauseating to see others have that joy. and in a series of overthinking it all, he came to the conclusion that. The others surrounding him have decided to keep happiness a secret from azrael. they were all on it. They knew what they were doing when she died. it is like they have purposefully taken the girl whom meant the world to azrael away from him! but of course how could he not see the truth that was displayed in front of his him this whole time!

coming to that conclusion utterly broke everything azrael knew and built it all anew. His envy was ever so clear to see. he knew that the people surrounding him wanted him to keep being envious of their joy. And so he just decided to ruin it all for them! after all. how come they get to have such happy moments while he has to be left behind in the dark, destroying his youth away for this constant cycle of death to keep going in circles on and on? it felt so utterly unfair to him. There was no use to continue doing what he always did when there wasn't a reason to keep doing it from the start besides living. and how could he live now without the person he treasured by his side?

in the end, his envy of others spiraled into a huge breakdown and caused him to go on a rampage. there were no exact names as his targets, only what his heart and shattered mind told him was the target. and that whole ordeal lead to quite a lot of deaths. ranging from people who at least were azrael's enemies from the past to some degree to innocent bystanders of the world who didn't know that azrael even existed

he found weird comfort in their deaths. Like "wow. i have finally gave in and destroyed what only worsened my misery and envy.. .," he kind of just, , did not feel sorry at all for the murders. even relishing in them in a ?. ? Way. but it all came back to stab him in the back. And Quite Literally too! that is what lead to his death and now his current state. being cursed and with the sin of envy being forever carved into him as a person, his jealously turned into pure venom. like Actually. he has venom running through his body, created from the purest desire for happiness. A man now destined to roam afterlife, forever seen as the pure embodiment of Consequences

so spiteful. so hateful at his very core. although he may be hiding it, but the Venom is present and is very obvious when you look closer into it! his only way to deal with this is to be distant from people. there is no reason to be conversing with the beings that once saw him as such a lowly being. azrael's way of thinking this through is just. Very confusing to say the least. he acted upon his desires but tries to rationalize them at the same time. trying to show that he doesn't care. No he doesn't care. . at least he is convinced so but Truly it is just ?.?? it is clampicated to describe for him. Or something

and now about kenix. Oh god This Dude Man. kenix is Incredibly Fuckjng Complicated as a person man. To start off, i will refer to him as his real name (Yi Dal) sometimes alright? kenix is Very Much a very deeply troubled guy that just represses such feelings. ever since he was born, he was in the dark. Metaphorically and kind of Literally?. since he was a child, he had the whole thing between him and his parents and just His family in general. which was Just Good Fucking Lord how much Inferior he felt to them. he was mostly, if not all the time, reduced to a "servant" for the family. which really contributed to him trying to seek value in himself through being useful to his family

obeying all the orders from his family? No questions asked, although it may hurt, he will at least get some attention. No matter positive or negative. he really just. didn't have a say in anything. for both of the parties, it is all just listening to what he is told to do. And his parents and siblings made that decision consciously. there was never any reason for him being neglected. not that kenix even knows of one! but it was like he was destined to be unacknowledged by them.

kenix was scared to take up space, because what if they find something to be angry about? Something to scold him for? Something to hit him for once again? he may be seeking attention but not in the form of being yelled at or having objects thrown at him. such treatment is still terrifying to him to this very day, a haunting memory at best. He genuinely felt like a little tiny being not deserving of attention with how obvious it was that his siblings were favored far more than him.his parents' treatment towards him made him think that he doesn't have the right to exist in this place without value or a purpose.

the neglect coming from his parents, the humiliation from his siblings. the embarrassment of being treated like a stranger whenever the family was in public. all of those factors reinforcing the idea that kenix is nothing of importance or relevance into his consciousness. kenix really just wanted to be free damnit.he yearned for it, he prayed for such salvation to come save him on a random day of his life but there was. No response as expected. he had never properly felt the warmth of the sun and freedom, only the cold air in his room at night. feels kind of suffocating in here, doesn't it? such a sheltered view on the world. It really is No wonder that kenix wished to escape this place. lacking social interaction and awareness of the outside world, , A shame, really

yi dal had been planning his escape from this god forsaken household for so So long, and he has finally been able to execute it when he was still a teen, about 17 years of age. An opportunity so perfect it truly felt unreal to him. An opportunity to finally feel the fresh air for himself forever and ever? you mean it you mean it you really mean it ?? <- deep down he was so Hopeful man. Man. the first time he was outside in nature by himself?? oh yeag. Yeag that felt like heaven that he himself couldn't believe in. feeling the grass beneath him, the light wind in his face, the chirping of the birds sitting on the trees. what else could he have possibly been missing out on? neither kenix or i know how he has survived about 16 years alone as a 17 years old guy with no social skills or concept of how the world really worked. he did make a fool out of himself but. He got the hang of it! Kind of! Normal social life was hard to get used to but!! ^_^

it truly was impossible for him to predict that at the age of 33, he would be found by his siblings and eventually tracked down, oblivious to what was planned for him. poor poor yi dal. only barely made to his early 30s and yet There It Is. Him laying on the floor, completely devoid of his ability to move his body. a small puddle of blood. Was it his blood? Was the blood of his brother he had manage to stab before being paralyzed? no reason to ponder that now, for he could only watch what was about to happen to him and. That was The Most amount of fear he had ever ever felt in his life. nothing could come close to how he felt when he saw his sister holding something in her hands, his brother following behind her. there were so so many things they could do. and it scared him on such a deep level that he didn't even know existed.

there he is now, a dead man walking and roaming the afterlife. the difference between him and azrael is that kenix acted upon his deepest desire only after he had been killed. the desire to avenge himself. to feel what it was like for his family. to be one of the higher-ups. To finally feel Superior. lusting for power in a way that breaks his morals (hence why this guy is assigned lust as his sin). a desire so strong it basically just Breaks Him Completely. In a way that leaves him so vulnerable that just. Makes him so easy to take advantage of. Disturbingly Too Easy. And that is exactly what fucking happens!!

"prometheus", or well, ephai is at fault here for that. no longer having a physical form, they saw a vessel so perfect in what was left of kenix. A soul that has been shattered into pieces since the start. Kind of. He needed just a little bit of a kick to fall over the edge and never come back to what he was. And they have seen it as an opportunity to prove the existence salvation to kenix. You Know. The guy that even fully gave up on religion and "salvation". And it worked of course it worked on kenix that Little Hopeless Thing— yeag. I could go on and on about kenix and prometheus but this is about azrael and kenix not these two's toxic relationship

prometheus is the key to kenix achieving his goals and in a moment of desperation. When he was offered a chance to avenge himself. To strike back at the people who degraded him the most. To feel in power. He didn't even hesitate to agree to the offer which lead to a little "contract" of some sort happening between them and that's just how kenix has been cursed. kind of like being oblivious to the fact that the salvation he was promised was a punishment in disguise. but it's not like he cares now.. . he has stolen fragments of powers from all kinds of divine beings, all for the sake of fulfilling his own wishes. trading his sanity for power. to the point of almost worshipping the one who has given him this opportunity and making ephai to be a divine entity

kenix himself though, is now more than just a god-like being. he is the flow of time himself. But Uh Oh! Bad News Motherfucker! You are Not Alone in this! because to keep existing like this, he had to take the body of an alternate timeline version of himself. Which just so happened to be the Yi Dal from the main cast's timeline. Who was already part of the main cast. And so essentially while taking over Ken's body, he had to replace him altogether unless they switch hosts. which kenix forbid to do because Good God he doesn't want ken to have anything Really. reasons that i'll get to later because Yeag ^_^ another problem is that prometheus is Also There with them. a third wheel or something so no you got 3 whole separate people in a singular body

so now kenix got himself stuck in a situation where he has to keep up a kind of play. Not pretending to be the version of himself he has replaced per se, but to always appear calm, continue to be soft-spoken and amicable with a formal attitude. because such etiquette and manners are what have enforced into his subconsciousness by his family while he was still living in that household. The manners that have been engraved into his mind by his own will. The facade of not caring about his surroundings. He destroyed his chances to live normally for the sake of his desire. so now kenix just has to pretend that everything is fine when really. Really. he never felt like a person, let alone an indepedent one. it is always him being the shadow of someone else and not seen as someone of his own. previously being the shadow of his siblings and now to be the shadow of ken because. Kenix is not perceived as his own self. Not that he has an identity really! But we will Also get to that later ^>^

now to finally talk about azranix together. their relationship had a pretty Rough start i'd say. Like it wasn't bad! But with azrael's decision to purposefully distance himself from others.., it was Hard for kenix to get closer to him without exactly going against his boundaries. Yes, he did pay attention to when he was getting far too close for azrael's comfort. for what reason did kenix even try to get closer to azrael? Well You See ^_^ he just wants to playfully mess with someone! No other reason! Just innocent little teasing that's all! but both of them have started to note. A lot of things about each other. with azrael's distrust, he was very wary of everything single move coming from kenix. And kenix well just. Tried to notice all the details there are about the person he pursued to know. pure curiosity if you could say that. to azrael there was always Something that was off about kenix and to kenix there was always Something about azrael that peaked his interest.

at the start with how used azrael was with seeing people as some sort of assholes trying to ridicule him, he looked at kenix with a bit of disdain. What if he was also one of such people? Why would he try to seek azrael out of all people? There is that sense of cautiousness that haunted him and his actions. and kenix ultimately decided to become a non-threat in azrael's eyes. otherwise how could he get such an interesting and peculiar person to trust him? to lose on such a great opportunity? no! he had to do it. He Had To. (no no it's not for any particular reason you see, it is just. .)

with every single encounter they have had, azrael just kind of like. Questioned everything about this guy! What Is His Problem! Why Is He Trying To Pry On Me! and so on. and with enough amount of times of them meeting each other in various places, azrael just went "fuck it, i'll try to get the answers to my questions straight from him" and such thinking led him to the Confrontation part. with his frustration present, he really just could not wrap his head around the fact that someone wants to know more about Him. that someone would even find Him interesting. he is trying so hard to avoid such relationships for the sake of himself and. Others to some degree. That an idea that someone once again would want to be a companion to him is just a Bizarre Concept. and kenix answered his questions, albeit not exactly. only a smile and "Wouldn't you want a friend yourself, in this place?"

which is exactly what was needed to crack azrael's front, even just a tiny bit. perhaps kenix was right. this place was Lonely. So Incredibly Lonely. maybe even reminiscent of azrael's past. and that made him realize just how much worse the situation was. to finally be aware of he had to stay here like this for hundreds of years, if not thousands. If not for all eternity. Destined to slowly disappear into thin air. with a few other people who are just like you by your side. a reminder that everything that could've saved you has Abandoned You. Even the divine above have abandoned you. A reminder that there is no one. And nothing. that is coming to save them. He is Alone. And Will Be Alone. his decision to distance from his only source of human interaction has always been a self-fulfilling prophecy of him swallowing his own venom. denying himself everything out of envy and hatred that is wallowing inside him. like a serpent on his shoulder. azrael is just a self-fulfilling prophecy of self-destructive at times that it is like Hey Dude. Please Don't Continue To Do That.

realizing just how fucked up everything in this situation is possibly may have made him just a tinyyy bit Desperate. more willing to finally open up to others a little. more accepting of letting people into his life. It is so fascinating that a single question from kenix is what managed to change his mind. azrael letting his guard down after so long! truly a miracle that we Cannot tell the aftermath of. and thus azrael has started to seek kenix out on purpose while still noting more things about him. Trying to figure him out like what kenix has been doing this whole time, you know? if kenix gets to pry on his life, then azrael might as well just do the same

it was a slow, slow way of actually getting to know each other at a deeper level because kenix. Like always. has tried to keep his past and his general life a secret. A mystery of some sorts. he wasn't really an enigma, azrael just. Never could figure out things about his family, his past life and what else has brought him here like the rest of the sinners. there were always moments about his story that he always left out on purpose. he never went into detailing anything he explained about himself. giving azrael only (mostly) surface level bits of information about himself. and azrael well, did much the same because he still felt that kenix shouldn't be trusted fully.

despite all that, azrael and kenix did manage to start bonding more! they both learned more about each other's story and felt. Sympathy for each other's struggles. as well as bonding over facing the same Horrors™ each day and they just had to learn to get through it together. To survive the troubles with each other by their side. learning more about each other through such dangerous encounters with the unknown things unable to be communicated with. having to find comfort in each other's presence if you understand what i'm trying to convey here. which then evolves into far more intimate moments being shared between them both where one helps the other with his problems and their opinions of each other turning into "ohh so we are one of the same to some degree. then i'll trust you more because i have seen you struggle with the same problems i have in the same way i do"

with the circumstances they were in, they got attached to each other's company Pretty Easily. considering how both of them severely lacked such companionship in their lives. it was a change of pace for the both of them For Sure. after years and years of being together, the trust they built in their relationship was Incomparable to anything else to be honest. they knew each other so so So long that it is now like both of them wouldn't be able to get anywhere without each other. they both had their own reasons for pursuing each other in this sense in specific but for kenix. it always was a desperate attempt for find someone to be there for him covered up as curiousity. kenix has always and Always followed orders his entire life, at first from his family now to listening to whatever prometheus whispers in his mind. his decisions always had this underlying tone of not being by free will. he does what he is told to do.

But trusting azrael and trying his best to be a trustworthy person in his eyes is the first decision that kenix has done by himself. It was his own free will which wanted to befriend azrael in specific. clinging onto him, knowing that azrael could be the one person to understand his troubles. kenix is very much aware of his fate being abruptly ended at some point and he knows that it will come soon. It is only a matter of time. following the orders of prometheus is the only way he can buy himself time to survive. Because he Needs to.

He must persist and keep living. he grasped at the concept of him being allowed to live only if he brings value to others for this long that. he just couldn't bear the thought of becoming Nothing if he wasn't anything of such value. seeking attention and validation through all means possible. all of his terrific actions had no reason other than desperation for recognition behind them. A villain who seemed to be enjoying all of this has only done this for the sake of surviving an another day.

Yet. every time kenix wanted to actually open up to azrael, it turns into a blockage in his throat. Unable to speak up, becoming a voiceless being of some sorts., , the reason being the fear of rejection in his soul. Kenix had to grasp at anything that would've given him a purpose. being prometheus's vessel was exactly done out of that desperation he wasn't even aware of. without the facade, kenix is No One. there is No One behind his carefully curated formal facade. Nothing but an incoherent mess. kenix lacks an identity. But the lack of it, then, is his identity: nothingness, absolute null. All of his emotions and feelings have always been repressed and they continue to be repressed even now. So no matter how hard he tries to differentiate himself from others, he'll end up being someone unintentionally because there is No Originality in him. And that is exactly how there is nothing about his real "self" that he thinks people would want to stay for.

with how much kenix has been repressing his emotions, discarding them and thinking of them as "fake" because he thinks that anything he felt emotionally is a lie. Because he built his whole self on a lie. A lie that he wanted this. he has now managed to lie to himself. thinking that the affection and love he holds for azrael is not real. That their bond is not real. That if he tried to show what he has been hiding behind his front for years, he would drive azrael away from him. When their relationship very much is real! kenix has no idea how to tell what was true and what was fake in him apart, so he just decided to think that everything he feels is a lie

yet. The repressed feelings, the suppressed emotions. They're all still there. Forming an incoherent mess inside of his mind and body. but even then without that mass of emotions, there is nothing else about kenix that is distinct. pure nothingness. and it Truly Scares him to even think of a scenario where azrael finds out what hollow husk of a man kenix is beneath his facade. The fear that azrael would be disgusted. That he would see him as a lowly creature. so kenix can never be truly honest about himself with azrael out of fear that the only person who understood him will leave. he tries to be so careful when talking to azrael lest he would let something about him slip. he can't just lose someone him, no.

but azrael is patient with him, he always has been. he shall wait all the needed time until kenix finally gathers the courage. he may not know what kenix has been meaning to tell him this entire time, but he can see his attempts ever so clearly. kenix is trying his best and azrael wants to make sure that kenix knows that it's alright. azrael may not be an overly kind and positive person but. If it means that someone who needs to be reassured will hear it. Well then. . . yet kenix could never be able to wrap his head around how that could be true. because of how much he was used to the lie he convinced himself with. he has told himself the same thing over and over again so many times that finally being told the opposite truth is just Shocking to him. the fact that someone doesn't want him for his value but for who he is a person

to bring back a previous point, kenix's problem with ken too, is just how much ken makes kenix realize that he is the extra one of the two. Ken had a normal life, he had a normal family, he had everything, ken had it all !. and kenix had nothing to himself. All of it - stolen. it is not even his own physical body, but the body of the original. he is perceived as someone else, he is not distinct from that someone at all in the eyes of others. despite all of his attempts to show himself as an independent person, he will forever be considered. A shadow of someone else. a shadow of the original and it pains him. and now azrael and the other sinners are the only people to ever treat kenix like a person. not like he is somebody else. But his own self. And he couldn't be more grateful that they do. That Azrael Does.

yet he can't be honest. No. No that would destroy everything he has built. everything he has worked for. but the desire. The wish to stay true to the only person he ever would consider being honest with. it has only grown stronger. The reason why he hasn't managed to tell azrael anything is solely because kenix simply felt like it wasn't the time. it will never be the time. so his one and only option was to finally tell azrael his real name. Yi Dal. although it doesn't seem like much, azrael understood the importance of this to kenix. from connecting the pieces of kenix's past story from everything he has ever told him, he could figure out that kenix only has bad associations with his real name regarding his past.

maybe. Just maybe. he could change his view on his real name, the same way kenix changed his view on his surroundings. To become the positive association that is worth remembering whenever kenix is referred by his real name. To be that something to look back at fondly.

And then the Creature™ phases come around with each of them turning into some sorts of fucken beasts ^_^. the cursed forms that in all shapes and forms represent their desires and their inner selves. for each sinner and other curse bearers, these forms are different. but for azrael and kenix.

azrael's form is completely unable to speak in full sentences. it barely speaks Actually. seeming to be straight-forward but it only just shows how azrael was not able to speak out what he thought. he was all action and no talk. which is exactly how his rampage started. he only came to conclusions from so much overthinking and hasn't tried to communicate with anyone. he just thought ot everyone as a traitor and shallow people. it really highlighted just how much he trusted his jealousy and envy rather than confirming things for himself

yet the creature seemed. More over fine with kenix's presence. Like he wasn't just a little friendly being to him! he still lashed out and acted irrationally because this form reflected on azrael's loses and overthinking that jumps straight into conclusions! but he still acted less aggressive with kenix. he didn't need to overthink his actions because of the trust he has in kenix. a bond that was stronger than the envy whispering all sorts of things into his ears. He Knows that he doesn't have to doubt him. yet he is Stuck in this box. a labyrinth of constant hesitation to Trust not only others but himself too. he wishes to free himself from such shackles but it is hard. it has always been hard to let go and change his mindset when it always was his only defense mechanism from being hurt. all of these struggles shaping themselves as a scorpion, a serpent, a venomous creature. something that symbolizes hidden danger. and yet, kenix has found beauty and something to love in such a devasting depiction of his partner. the purest way to show what he truly felt. how much he just hid this somewhere inside of himself. something that he couldn't help but feel pity for

and kenix shall do anything to prove that even then. it's going to be okay. he knows it's okay. azrael has always told him it is alright to feel like this, so surely he meant it for everyone? all struggles will pass eventually and you'll become stronger than ever, that's what azrael has told him a long time ago. even if kenix doesn't see a future for himself, he wants to make that promising future for his only love. To help him become resilient Together. He knows that azrael can do it, he had been through so much. he know he could get through this as well and break free from the curse.

and as for kenix's cursed form and the overrall story it is. So much more .? ?. his cursed form is much more bizarre compared to others. a constant variation of geometrical shapes and other possible physical forms, emiting a some sort of glow. He has lost all of his human characteristics. The true form of his self. the mass of emotions and feelings that have been repressed for decades, even centuries, has finally spilled over. creating a mess out of himself. A fool now no longer bound to a facade but is now letting all of that anguish out. so much madness, frustration and sorrow suppressed in him that is now out in the open for everyone to see. a being no longer able to communicate, for he has turned into something that is only capable of Wails. Sobs out loud. Muffled screams of agony. so many emotions he had yet to properly address yet that it is all coming in as an overwhelming wave of terror. he can no longer hide himself beside a neatly made front

a seemingly unapologetic "villain" reduced to a sorrowful creature. a being so clearly desperate for freedom. to know who he is. to finally be free from these principles chaining him to a life of silence until his death. he feels that his demise is coming soon. and he can't do anything about it. for now he can only be a hostile monster. a vessel, a prophet for prometheus's salvation. because this was planned to be his end a long long time ago. this was his purpose. his only value. once this is done, he will be gone for too. finishing his duty, being allowed rest. despite how much he yearns to keep living. but kenix has always been about acceptance. acceptance of his fate. This Miserable Fate

yet azrael found himself only feeling sympathy, for this was the moment that he has finally learned about his partner's true feelings. and it hurt to hear someone so important and dear to him wallow in pain and anguish like that. that version of kenix was a hostile being, but he still so clearly needed help. he needed the courage to overcome this. to break free from prometheus's influence over everything he did because he never had confidence in such actions. and azrael wanted to help with just that despite their current barrier where they cannot understand one another. just like kenix helped him, he wanted to help kenix create his own future to look forward to. without death. with azrael by his side. to survive. to keep living just like kenix desired to this whole time.

the end of their chapters as cursed beings meant that the both of them could finally experience relief together. a moment of Bliss. the realization that it is over. they get to exist, unshackled from the burdens that once plagued their minds. a possibility for salvation. a chance to live without being bound to their past or their inner desires. just peace and tranquility, their one true wish

But Uh Oh! Bad News Motherfuckers! Y'all forgot this shit was a death timeloop! With how i previously mentioned that the actual protagonist of the story, Yaku, has started a timeloop rooted in the desire of saving what meant the world to him that was dying at the end of the journey. The same kind of important people who cruelly had their lives cut short. And The only other character aware of this timeloop was well. Kenix! with this sudden ending of lives for most of the casts, azrael had also became a victim to these abrupt endings.

having to witness his love's life fade away before his eyes, it is only natural for kenix to also be shocked at the situation that yaku is also stuck in. and this scenario is exactly how yaku became the last one to be cursed, his curse rooted in his one biggest desire. a selfish deed covered up as an act of selflessness. their timelines' restarting, the flow of time now looping on and on until yaku manages to save everyone from these deaths

kenix had no control over this, he was forced to watch the protagonist and his nephew descend into madness over a singular goal. while also having to relive his entire life over and over again. a cycle of misery for everyone involved. the others would never be able to realize that this was a timeloop, so the first and the original time they had done this. Has became their script. that everyone, including kenix, had to follow until the end

of course in the first few loops, kenix had also tried to do everything in his power to ensure that his friends. that azrael. would be safe from their gruesome demise. yet their endings had already been written as part of the unchangeable fate by the forces above. neither kenix or yaku had a chance at succeeding. despite kenix's own attempts to save his partner, there was nothing he could do. he could only Watch how his impending doom was slowly getting closer

it was Painful. he could see azrael, he feel him, talk to him, interact with him in general just like normal. yet it wasn't him. no that could never be azrael ever again. that azrael felt surreal. abnormal. like he was programmed beforehand. there was nothing new about him and he felt so Off. Because kenix was aware that this is just the repeating of their original story. it's like he talked to someone playing pretend. his original feeling of "this doesn't feel real (positive)" when he first met azrael has turned into "this doesn't feel real. (derogatory)" kind of feeling. seeing azrael like this was just tormenting. a painful reminder that he will, one day, leave him not by will. and kenix will have to learn to live without him

to live without the person who had shown him love and how to love for the first time ever. a someone who had changed the course of his life so much. brought down what kenix had thought of the world and built it anew. keeping his silence about the truth because now. it was the only the thing that he could never ever tell azrael. what he had seen that day. None of it. for his sake.

perhaps, if they had never met here. if they had met at a different time.

In short, they are so fucking Doomed.

smth smth. Yeag. Good Fucking Lord They Make Me Sick

[moretheta]

without you

[meonlyred]

Our Lady of Sword and Faith

[asexualsimonsnow]

A few people in the tags on my Agatha romance plot line poll are voicing the same sorts of thoughts I had. I did not like her romance plot line because she had all these lines in the two previous books that, to me and many others, were implying her aromanticism. To have a chapter from her POV where she expresses feeling broken due to a suspected inability to feel that type of attraction only to later have this “resolved” by her finding the right person was extremely frustrating and disappointing.

Even beyond an aro reading of the character, it’s disappointing to see her coupled up at the end of the third book. So much of the first book was about subverting the expectations that come from these types of stories. One of these expectations seemed to me to be not just that the chosen one gets the perfect girl, but that all the characters are neatly coupled up by the end and have romance as a part of their story. In the first book not only is Agatha not with Simon, the chosen one, her supposed destiny, she’s not interested in coupling up and fulfilling that expectation placed on her by the world in which she lives and by the type of story she inhabits, at all. It feels like backtracking on her character growth to watch a romance play out for her in the third book.